Winging It

This morning I walked across the street to Starbucks with some of my co-workers. We have a routine in the mornings, and the baristas know our names and our orders by heart. Today, I didn’t get a drink myself because I decided to take the month of November to abstain from Starbucks and alcohol. I love me some americano’s and some wine, but they became such regular indulgences for me that I decided to give my body a “reset” and turn them into special treats like they once were. 🙂

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Anyways, I’m telling you this because we walked into Starbucks on November 2nd and Christmas décor had exploded all over the store. The menu, the cups, the bakery display, the merchandise displays…..it was completely red & green. Isn’t this too soon?! How are we supposed to celebrate Christmas for 1/6th of the entire year? I’m still barely getting over Halloween, give me some time!

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Speaking of Halloween, I hosted a Costumes & Cocktails party at my new apartment over the weekend. It was a blast! My boyfriend and I coordinated 1940s aviation costumes and I loved it. He was a World War II pilot and I was a retro Pan Am flight attendant.

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“What’s in my purse?!”

It was a pretty low-key party – “Bring Your Own Witches Brew” style. But I did make my very first ever batch of Jell-O shots. I made strawberry banana with 1 part water 1 part vodka and hot damnalama they were good!

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Another favorite party feature was the pumpkin cooler. My boyfriend helped me get ready for the party by carving the 20lb pumpkin and filling it with ice and a strobe light. The only pumpkin we carved this year, and by far the most unique I saw!

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While the sun set and the weather was cool, we kicked off the party on my patio with my 4-foot tall Jenga drinking game and broke the ice between some of the guests who had never met before. That was another fun part of the party – I invited couples that I had met from all over the place, so not everyone was acquainted. By the end of the night, they were all exchanging phone numbers and making plans to get together. I am so grateful for the friendships I’ve built in my two years in Idaho already! ❤

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Blood or wine….?

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Once the patio couldn’t hold everyone anymore, we took the party inside and hung out with tons of drinks, snacks, games, and darts. The party started to die down around 2am and only one guest had to crash on the couch 😉 We had the laaaaaaaziest Sunday recovering from the late night and Jell-O shots, keeping it lowkey and ending the night with cauliflower crust pizza and some Making a Murderer on Netflix. Perfect balance of the weekend nights, in my opinion!

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On actual Halloween day, I spent some time reading my friend’s Sarah’s blog post series. Among many other feelings it brought up, it also reminded me of how much I LOVE the personal aspect of blogs. Everything has become so commercialized. A lot of content creators are seeing the opportunity to monetize on their efforts, and feel the need to start producing blog posts that appeal to the masses. Everything is becoming about product recommendations, sponsorships, brand collaborations, big announcements, brand new recipes, secrets, tips and tutorials. In all of that noise, we lost a lot of personality. What I want to read in a blog, is authentic personality. What I want to write into my blog, is authentic personality.

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I have a full-time career, and this blog isn’t meant for me to supplement my income. So if only 12 people read my posts and I don’t win over any endorsements, then guess what? My blog still fulfills its purpose. And I don’t have anything attached to my name with phony motives. I’m blogging as blogging was intended – to be way too personal about your life and your feelings on the internet. 😉

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Last night, I spent a couple hours before bed doing some good-for-the-soul things I’ve needed. I put on a podcast that was a self-development episode. The host talked about ways to avoid the “compare and despair” phenomenon that lots of women are triggered by social media. It’s fairly common to feel inadequate among the curated feeds, and it’s something I want to make a conscious effort to stop doing. I’m perfectly happy with my own life exactly how it is, which is something I need to remind myself when I see images of people who are traveling more, have gorgeous skin and hair, or the ideal home. Just because their life looks desirable does not take away the fact that mine is perfectly desirable for ME. (I’m writing to myself here, in case you can’t tell.)

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While the podcast played in the background, I spent some time doing things that relax me like lighting some candles, doing a facial and hair treatment, putting fresh sheets on my bed, and some full-body stretches. After that, I read a little bit of a book but I decided it was a little too creepy for my already-heightened cortisol levels and my body could probably use a little extra sleep anyways so I climbed in bed before 10pm. It took me a while to fall asleep because the podcast that I listened to brought up a few good points that I really wanted to think about. I was consumed for a while as I thought about the gap between the person I am and the person I want to be. I have so much room to grow in learning how to communicate feelings with people I love. This also ties in to a habit I’ve built of reading too much into other’s words and actions, reading far more than they actually meant. A good place to start breaking this habit is staying present in the exact moment I’m in, with absolutely no assumptions or expectations. I know this is easier said than done. But I thought about the fact that if I take 10-15 minutes away from my day of scrolling social media and I put it towards a positive self-reflection activity like writing, doing some yoga, or calling a best friend on the phone then I might start to base my thoughts more in REALITY and less in the stories in my head. 🙂

Enjoy your Friday night & thanks for being my sounding board in this weird confusing frustratingly-fascinating internet world.

XO, Kenz

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